Which of These Really Happened?

Posted by Ken O'Sullivan - July 2nd, 2010 at 10:07:29 am

Which of these really happened:

1.) Ken O lost 40 lbs
2.) Glee has been cancelled.
3.) A soccer(football) player really got injured.
4.) Ken O stopped telling stories.
5.) The Sword AgencyPort softball team won a game.

If you picked 1 or 4, don’t worry, neither would ever happen.

If you picked 2, I might have to kill you. They would never cancel the best show in the history of television.

If you picked 3, you’re probably european. They all fake it, get over it. Actually, don’t get over it, tell them to stop it!

If you picked 5, it sounds ridiculous, but …..

Sword AgencyPort Wins 10 – 9 in extra innings!!!!

For those of you who missed the top story on SportsCenter tonight, “They did it!”. It has taken Sword AgencyPort 10 games, but they finally pulled it off and crushed the opponent tonight in a resounding 10 – 9 victory. The team had the lead in the last inning (7th in softball) and had to get three outs before relinquishing 2 runs. They successfully got the three outs but not before letting two stragglers cross the plate. The game was tied and went to extra innings. In the top of the ninth, Sword AgencyPort’s first baseman made a costly error giving the lead to the other team for the first time in the game. We will not give out names, but his initials are the same as our old company name (AP). The game went to the bottom of the ninth with the AP team down by one. Fast Eddie Cole smashed a single to start the inning and it looked like AP was in business. Two quick ground balls forced the runner out at second each time and we were left with the oldest and fattest guy on the team stuck on first base. Ken O then faked an injury so he could get a pinch runner and Krista Fulton took over. The goat came to bat next, a chance to redeem himself. Anthony smashed a drive deep to left and cleared everything ….. crap, only a ground rule double (short porch). Anthony had redeemed himself quite nicely, but AP wasn’t out of the woods yet. Two outs, two runners in scoring position and who’s at bat? K Spaz … crap again. Kevin Spiers was about to bat and has had good at bats and bad at bats ….. nobody knew what we would get here. (I was guessing it was a Charlie Brown moment.)

After taking a strike, Kevin drove the ball deep in front of home plate, maybe 7 feet away as everyone screamed RUN! Fleet of foot, Spiers flew down the line (he should, he weighs like 46 lbs!) …. their pitcher, some old guy (not as good as our old guy!) …. picked up the ball and fired to first.

The throw to first hit off the first baseman’s glove and rolled into right field ….. Krista scored and the game was tied. Anthony was motoring toward third and the third base coach (Ken O of course) sent him home. Polcari peeled down the line and crossed the plate for the winning run. He ran like there was an opening in the sales department, it was amazing.

The team hung around for a good half hour making up stories about how good they are. Coach Ken O reminded everyone how bad they really are and they called it a night.

A shout out to the team tonight ….

  • Ed Cole, Andy Shepard, Patrick Scott and Kevin Spiers didn’t miss a fly ball, they actually caught close to a dozen!
  • Ann Copolla, or should I say Stopolla didn’t let anything by her at third base as usual.
  • Andrew Wagner – “Wags” – and Krista were the core of the defense and played solid up the middle getting force outs at second all night long.
  • Anthony played first base. (and he did well except for that one play)
  • Tara Durheim was solid catching again and was relieved as Lisa Gilgan got there in the 4th inning to help boost us to victory. (Everyone was so happy when Lisa got there …. it was like she brought the beer or something!)
  • The old fat guy pitched and never shut up as usual.

Everyone hit the ball well for AP tonight, some may have hit triple digits with their average. Also, we are now in the midst of our longest winning streak in franchise history.

A special thanks to those of you who could not make it tonight … we couldn’t have done it with you. (Actually, not true. Everyone who has played in the previous nine games has contributed to this victory.)

If you think this was a waste of time, you shouldn’t have read the whole thing. Don’t worry, I don’t think this will happen again anytime soon.

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